By Gypsie-Ami Offenbacher-Ferris
Really darling, the gray tabby complained, I really do not think this ploy, this experiment of yours is going to work.
A muscular, short-haired minx answered her slow southern, drawn-out drawl with short, staccato bursts of sound resembling the voice of none other than, Danny Davito.
It will work perfectly my love, you will see. The birds will come flocking and all we will have to do is pluck them right off – easy as pie and more delicious too!
He paced back and forth in front of her, rearranging the slice of bread to his liking.
Um, love, you really do need to keep your mouth closed. I fear those little peepers won’t come near while you’re showing your teethers! He chuckled heartily at his bit of rhyme, she was not amused.
Reginald, this is NOT working and more than that, should the Ladies of House Number 3 happen to see me like this, I’ll be the laughing stock of the entire cat community!
The tabby tried to wriggle out of the very unattractive piece of bread now hanging around her neck.
Tabatha wait! The minx tried to warn her, too late. The tabby tumbled off the ledge, through the dining room window and onto the middle of the dining room table where the in-law’s had just sat down to dinner.
The stout, sour faced mother-in-law jumped to her feet.
That’s it! I’ve had enough, I am at my limit! Now we have an animal serving our dinner bread and that dog of yours, Chief was it? Is doing something untoward to my leg beneath the table. We are leaving!
After they had gone, the couple began to laugh. Presently the husband asked his wife,
How did you manage to get that piece of bread onto Tabatha’s neck dear one?
His wife looked at him blankly, quite innocently actually.
I would never do such a thing. Not to your mother and certainly not to our poor little Tabatha, she said.
Then in a soft, conspiratorial whisper she said,
But Reginald would.