Not A Cook

By Gypsie-Ami Offenbacher-Ferris

Photo by Shantanu Pal on

In response to dVerse Poets Pub Poetics: Spicing It Up Hosted by merrildsmith – Use at least three of the spices listed in your poem: Aleppo Pepper
Arizona Dreaming Basil Cinnamon Coriander
Cumin Dill Fennel Seed Garam Masala Ginger Krakow Nights Lemongrass Mulling Spices Mural of Flavor Mustard Seeds Nutmeg Paprika Saffron Sea Salt Sesame Seeds Sunny Paris Thyme Tuscan Sunset Vanilla Zatar

I have to admit though it pains
me to confess this
A cook I am not
and never will be

I haven’t the patience
nor even the thyme
To fiddle with fennel
or flavor with dill

Not a spot of paprika
no pinch of green basil
or is basil brown
Never ever have used

Forget all about mulling
over convoluted spices
And however do you flavor
with a tincture or mural

No I think I’ll stick
to my nightly routine
Take it out of the freezer
microwave and be done!


  1. Paula Light says:

    Ooh clever! And I’m the same 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rogblog666 says:

    cooking is something I really enjoy (almost as much as poetry). great poem aand clever use of the spices

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! You are welcome here anytime! Ami


  3. Sadje says:

    That’s very convenient Ami. Great take!


      1. Sadje says:

        You’re most welcome


  4. merrildsmith says:

    I do enjoy cooking, but this was so much fun and clever. 🙂 I especially liked the second stanza. Thank you for joining in!


  5. Nope, Not Pam says:

    Hubby is a great cook, I’m beans, mash and sausages 😊


  6. Rob Kistner says:

    Hear that loud and clear Ami. We do microwave, and occasionally the toaster oven — at 75, with both my hands riddled with arthritis, I am lucky I can do that. My wife is 60, and simply doesn’t wanna be bothered with the bother of meal prep. We did all that in our younger years. Our son, a gourmet chef, lives above us — se we are fortunate to still get a few excellent meals a week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Rob! I am 64 and after five lumbar and two cervical surgeries – several botched, I can not stand without being in severe pain; so cooking is definitely out for me! I understand very well! 🙏


  7. Helen says:

    This is a delightful poem … going to keep a smile on my face for a while!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Helen! Thank you! I am so very happy to have been gifted with your smile! 😊


  8. rothpoetry says:

    This one made me smile!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I’m glad! Thank you for letting me know!! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rothpoetry says:

        You are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

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