Why Cats Hate Christmas!

By Tomasina Kat (aka Gypsie-Ami Offenbacher-Ferris)

In response to Bartholomew Barker’s prompt,
“Why Do Cats Hate Christmas?”

I have been asked it seems,
tasked it seems,
by a poet more learned than
I

To explain why we cats you see,
do not like Christmas
you see,
or really no holidays at all.

First off and number one
on this poem,
Having taken a poll
just for this list.

Is the loss of our favorite spot,
our sacred resting berth.
You push us away blocking the way
to our sunny window sill!

Secondly my dear sweet human,
in my sleeping place you set
A prickly Christmas tree
then forbid a cat from climbing it!

Third and might I say
quite devious of you humans,
You place upon that Christmas tree hundreds of baubling baubles!

They jiggle and sway all of the day
taunting, teasing, torturing,
Our feline kind not to bat,
not to swat, lest we all go blind!

Fourth and this causes a quite a tiff,
you have turkey and ham,
Cornish hens and fried Spam,
but do you deem to share any at all?

Fifth and hear me human’s mine,
this is the most important
Reason why cats truly hate
Christmas after all!

Have you ever seen a little kitty cat,
jump from inside a wrapped
Christmas box,
a gift for that little boy or girl?

No you have not,
puppies galore all over the floor,
But Christmas kittens,
there are not!