Lost and Found

Response to Keith Ramblings – A Quick Half-Dozen … for Six Sentence Stories where the given word is LOST.

I just had them only a second ago when I was searching for my smart-phone, which I had of course, misplaced not lost, a few minutes before that so, it stood to reason that they would be near to or at least, in the same vicinity of my smart-phone.

Not only have I misplaced, not lost, my smart-phone that is not very smart at all since it can not tell me where it is and I refuse to get one of those locator clapper things advertised for old people on television because I’m not old, even though I can not find my new spectacles which I need to find said smart-phone, so I surmise they have apparently run off together to some unknown and as yet undiscovered recess within my home.

Upon this arduous quest to find my spectacles and my smart-phone, I was thrilled to find the book I was reading, and misplaced last week, tucked beneath the legs of my nightstand where either I had accidentally knocked it off or my huge lapdog may have pulled it from my sleeping hands, after I fell into slumber reading the riveting words of Memory, Never Lose Anything Again.

Skipping to the last page of Memory, Never Lose Anything Again, not because the book is terminally bromidic but, in the interest of time and space I was looking for suggestions as to how I can locate these things I have misplaced, not lost, perhaps the tome is not working for me not because it’s bromidic but, it just may be the last line on the last page of the book that I take issue with, Remember where you had the lost item the last time you used it and you will find it.

I placed the noxious book back beneath my nightstand where I hoped to lose it again for good, reminding myself to forget this was the last place I had ever seen it and continued on my now frantic endeavor to locate my spectacles in order to see, which would finally enable the big reveal of the last place I had used them, because if I knew where I had used them last, they wouldn’t be lost at all.

So it was that only one room was left to submit to this awful scourge I have put my home through this night and one for which I’d pay dearly for straightening up later, but as this was the last place to look, look I did in each corner and crevice and even within the confines of my over-large bathtub until exasperated with myself, I put my hands on my hips and turned to find my reflection looking back at me perplexed, my spectacles sitting quite securely atop my head and wonder of wonders, my smart-phone in my hand – which I had been using as a flashlight the entire time.