Absolutely Positively Not

By (Gypsie) Ami Offenbacher-Ferris

Would I sit on a box
Its top open not shut
Like a little red fox
Huddled down in his hut?

Would I ride on a train
With no doors or windows
Outside in the rain
Across great rolling meadows?

Would I walk through a swamp
All boggy and wet
Where gators would chomp
Like a salty baguette?

Would I fly on a plane
Its backdoor gaping wide
As we flew over Spain
A really rough ride

Absolutely Positively Not
Would I sit on a box or
Ride a train in the rain
Walk through a swamp
Or ride a rough plane

Give me two wheels
with pedals beneath
A sturdy hand-bar
and brakes at my feet
Then life would be sweet