Throwback Thursday 04/28/22

Hosted by Lauren @ LSS Attitude of Gratitude

This week’s prompt is: Things I Don’t Miss

Throwback Thursday
Gypsie (Ami) Offenbacher-Ferris (dark hair 7 yo) with middle sister (blonde hair 5 yo) Circa 1965

Do not misunderstand or misinterpret the title of the prompt and one of my younger sisters in the photograph with me, in the wrong way. My sister is a grown woman now, with a lovely grown daughter who has two beautiful teenage step-children, bless her. They live up in the Atlanta area and I, of course, reside down here on the southern coast of North Carolina. I do miss seeing her and them, but this post is not about that.

This is about things I do not miss, so here we go. I do not miss being a little girl and constantly being compared to my middle sister. Though I am the oldest, I was compared in a not very favorable way to her.

Examples: “What happened to you? Someone beat you with an ugly stick?”

That was my uncle, who would then turn to my beautiful, green-eyed platinum blonde sister and lavish praise on her for the rest of his visit. I stood back and watched, looked in the mirror and silently agreed with him. I held no ill-will towards my sister as it wasn’t her fault. However, the feelings I held towards my uncle were, less than flattering. This is something I do not miss.

“Why can’t you do your hair like your sister’s? Hers is so pretty and looks so finished. You look like you went through a clothes dryer Ami!” That was my father. My hair is wildly curly, fine and naturally fuzzy, no matter what I do to it. As we matured, my sisters hair grew longer and brighter and smoother, quite beautiful. She allowed no one to touch it and if by chance one did touch it; watch out for the meltdown, after which she was coddled by both parents and I was admonished for upsetting her. This is something I do not miss.

In school I was bullied mercilessly, this is something I do not miss. Although I’d love to come face to face with some of them now. I think they’d like to forget afterward too!

I do not miss the sadness and grief at the passing of my grandparents and much later, the passing of my own parents. I do not miss the pain experienced at the passing of beloved friends and treasured pets.

Because I do not miss these sad feelings, the overwhelming feelings of grief and despair, the lack of confidence and isolation, I’m able to survive. I’m able to thrive. Because I do not miss these things but remember them; I can look forward to and relish the things I will miss one day.

14 Comments

  1. Lauren says:

    Thank you for joining in. I will never understand people making negative comments to children about physical things they have no control over. I could never count all the negative comments about my big feet. As if I had any control over their size.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Exactly so. I know it’s the way of nature to make the animal with the prettiest plumage, or biggest muscles, or nicest birdsong, to be the most desirable and mate worthy; but I thought as a species we had progressed past that – but we have not, sadly. Thank you for your lovely comment and the read! ❤️

    Like

  3. Sadje says:

    I’m sorry that your family didn’t appreciate you enough. It behoves the parents and elders to give confidence to the children, not to take it away.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unfortunately, if they do not have it… they can not convey it. Took many years to figure that out, but I did. Thank you Sadje!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. There are so many painful things to remember and not miss, you are so right! I was picked on as a little kid, not called bullying back then because it only happened a few times. (eye roll). People don’t realize the damage they cause when they make kids feel less than perfect. It is really quite sad and unfortunately, even though we know more than we did back when we were all kids, people still do it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes, and although an adult now – the scars still remain.

    Like

  6. poetisatinta says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and memories, so glad you are able to recognise the experiences and people for what they were and you are stronger and more beautiful for it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh … thank you so much my friend! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Priti says:

    Beautifully written sometimes it happens in our life but the experiences give us real value of life. Well shared thanks 😊👍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you most kindly Priti! 😊

      Like

      1. Priti says:

        It’s all my pleasure 🙂 stay blessed ❣️💕

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Priti says:

        ☺️☺️☺️🙏🏻❤️

        Like

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